What's Working This Winter

And maybe a little of what is not

The conversation at the dinner table the other night centered around that dang groundhog. Regardless of whether or not he saw his shadow, I knew spring wasn’t in sight. Yet I still had a moment of panic when I looked at my husband and said, “Oh my gosh, it’s only the beginning of February and we have months left of winter! How is that possible?”

Winter can be a tough time of year for me. I’ve fought to embrace it and find the magic in the cold (all about Hygge around here), but it’s not naturally my favorite season. If you’re a fellow human powered by sunshine and who gets weary of winter, I hope these things that are working for me will help you out. I’d love to hear from you in the comments about what’s working (and not working) for you in this season!

a glimpse at my winter so far

State of the Union

Before I dig in, let me give a little context. This is what my life looks like: I’m a Stay at Home Mom of 5 kids. We adopted a sibling group of 4 cute kiddos who are ages 5-12. They’re a busy bunch. I had a biological baby in May and he’s in the super mobile stage. He is constantly trying to unplug cords from outlets, tip over the cat water, and put every tiny thing in his mouth. My husband is a part-time youth pastor at our church and also works at a therapeutic farm. He’s working less than last summer, but it’s still 6 days a week.

We live in Minnesota. This is important for 2 reasons: 1) it’s cold. For a long time. 2) While we are not in the Twin Cities metro, we feel the weight of what’s happening in our state with ICE and the deaths of multiple citizens in January. Similarly, both immigration and sex trafficking are two “political” topics I’ve always cared deeply about, and are both hot topics at the moment. I’m wrestling a lot with what to do, what to say, and how and when to do it. I want to show up well for my kids in my daily life, but I also want to show up for them by doing the right thing and trying to make the world a better place for them.

In addition to these big factors, we have some micro things going on in my world. Cold and flu season, sleep regression and teething, iron deficiency… basically all the things that can make me feel blah and exhausted. My ADHD postpartum has felt insane. I miss my brain. I miss ADHD meds. Overall, my mental health has been fine, but it’s also something I have to be really proactive about.

I started a small handmade business in November and did the Christmas rush thing (as well as handmade a lot of gifts) and have spent January creatively recharging. I’ve been doing more personal projects and taking some time to really think about what I want to do in terms of business.

There’s the overall context of my life this winter. Here’s what has been helpful to my life lately.

Going back to work. Kinda.

Okay, that’s a stretch. A friend of mine is a successful photographer with a fancy downtown studio. We met in the industry 10+ years ago and have worked together in various ways over the years (and are in the same book club). During the winter, she and her family travel down south and live my dream snowbird life. This year, she asked if I’d associate shoot for her, which means that she books the clients, handles communication, and edits the photos afterwards. I show up and shoot the actual session as an extension of her brand. So far, it’s been about once a month, but it’s been such a good excuse to get dressed, put on makeup, and get out of the house to be more than just a mom. It’s an hour or two so it’s nothing crazy, but I get paid well and get to embrace the photographer side of myself without worrying about all the extra stuff.

Wool Mittens

I inherited (via a facebook marketplace mad dash I sent my husband on) about 3 tubs of free wool sweaters to turn into mittens and other creations. A good pair of wool mittens lined with fleece? So warm. So cozy. So hygge. I’ve made another pair since and one pair of quilt mittens, but I really ought to do a short mitten making spree before it gets warm.

Sleeping with my phone charging downstairs

I know, I know… this is classic unplugging advice that I struggle to consistently follow, but when I do, it’s helpful! Especially when the news is going wild and every other post on social media is a hot take, giving myself some space from my phone has been helping me sleep better and not end or start my day with that level of intensity. I still wake up about twice a night to nurse my baby so it takes away the temptation to scroll in the middle of the night too. I’m still working on being consistent with it and giving myself ample morning time before checking it.

More cuddles.

Another bedtime habit that has been good for regulating my nervous system lately is more intentional bedtime cuddles with my husband, Caleb. No, for real guys, I mean genuine cuddles. Okay, I’m not going to lie, sometimes it does end in some “…” a la Mama Mia, but that’s not a bad thing! For a while, we got into the bad habit of going to bed at different times or scrolling on our phones in bed. I think it brought some loneliness and disconnection to our relationship. Nothing terrible, but in post-baby life, it is easy to fall into roommate mode and partners in parenting vs also keeping our identity as best friends and lovers. I still have nights where I’m crafting after kids are in bed or we’re doing something else, but a few nights a week, we try to go to bed a bit earlier and get in a good cuddle.

Getting a Gym with Childcare Again

I canceled my gym membership the month before I had my baby for obvious reasons. With the long, cold winter, a nonstop 9-month-old, and a very intense 5-year-old at home with me all day every day, I knew I needed a break and to find ways to move my body. I’m still figuring out a good flow for us with baby’s nap times because going anywhere between his naps involves going around lunch time and then rushing to get home before he falls asleep in the carseat and screws up his second nap. So far I’ve only left the baby in the childcare once and the other two times took him in the stroller on the walking track. I’ve been going with the purpose of moving emotion through my body. It’s shocking how much anger and anxiety I’ve been holding onto and how that energy needs a physical release (and not the release of snapping at my loved ones).

Having more fun with clothes.

I’m trying to add more color into my wardrobe and try different outfit combos I wouldn’t normally wear. I want to actually have fun styling my wardrobe instead of feeling like I’m doing the same old thing. It’s not about buying more clothes (though I have been realizing I have like 3 accessories), but being more intentional with what I have. With that being said, I’m literally wearing all black right now. I have plenty of days where I’m rocking really boring mom outfits or feel most like myself in something subtle and simple. That’s okay too. But between postpartum and winter, having a few days a week where I put on mascara and a little lipstick and think about what I want to wear is good for me.

Figuring out my creative contexts

What is something creative I can do with my hands with my kids? Next to my kids? What do I need deep brain space for? What can I knock out during a nap time/PBS Kids show? What is the purpose of different mediums? What’s best to share with friends? I’m a deeply creative person and if I don’t have outlets, I shrivel up. I’m finding that with an active baby, crochet has been the easiest thing to do while sitting on the floor as he actively plays/explores our playroom. Yes, I engage with him too, but he’s also happy independently exploring. On the flip side, I’ve been realizing that if all my creative energy is spent crafting/sewing/making things with my hands, I’m neglecting time and energy to make things with my mind and my words. Writing needs to be a higher priority in my life. I’m having a wake up call.

Iron infusions

This is not medical advice whatsoever, but I spent about ten years being anemic off and on before I finally met a doctor who was like, “Let’s just order you an iron infusion.” Then in pregnancy when my iron dipped, I was sent to a hemotologist and now I have a doctor who will order me labs to check in on my levels and new infusions whenever they are low. I am so thankful. Iron infusions are life-changing for me. I was more exhausted at 28 weeks pregnant than 38 weeks pregnant simply due to iron deficiency and subsequent infusion. In December, I hit a level of exhaustion that didn’t feel like it was just from a teething baby (but sleep deprivation has been catching up with me), and I got an infusion in early January. The energy boost hasn’t been as dramatic as it felt during pregnancy, but I’m feeling it kick in and I’m so thankful. So many women I know struggle with anemia and iron deficiency, and I wish more women knew to ask their doctor about infusions, especially if their body doesn’t seem to be absorbing supplements well.

Hosting Crafternoons

I did a Christmas ornament making party in November and a Valentine collage making day this last week and they have been such a life giving and low key way to host. I’m obsessed with Partiful, a free app that sends out text invites and reminders and helps with hosting your party in an age where no one checks their facebook and most of us regularly forget to RSVP. The more I host these, the less stressful and easier they become. I keep snacks and drinks simple (I opened it up to have others bring snacks this time and that worked well), I provide all the craft supplies (because I have too much already), and it’s a great chill environment to be creative and socialize. We love hosting, but got discouraged a lot last year ny the lack of RSVPs and turnout when we invited people, so I’m glad I’m finding my groove again.

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What is not working…

Okay, I have to be honest about what is not working too. I’m going to rapid-fire this section because I think they are mostly self-explanatory.

• eating gluten here and there… my body is not a fan

• I lost my Kindle. Ugh.

• over-thrifting and impulse buying. Especially of craft supplies and project pieces.

• too much screen time.

• meal planning and prepping

• the cold weather. too much.

• cold and flu season. Someone is always sick.

• my general ADHD-ness

• a bad soda/diet coke habit

• reading. I have too many books going at once. I’m struggling to finish any (I just finished my first book of the year!)

• shoes. My foot size went up after having a baby. rude.

• long hair. I’m so overstimulated by my baby grabbing it.

• forgetting to open windows on the rare warm day.

• my morning routine (or lack of)

• sleep quality and quantity

Your turn.

Tell me what is working! Tell me what isn’t working! Give me your tips for winter or if you have any solutions for my “what’s not working” list, I’m all ears! Let’s keep the conversation going in the comments below.